UPSC:Feeling of Appointment and Disappointment
Shailesh Verma
2021-03-28 23:34:13
“May be this article is not complete, but it is not incomplete.”
UPSC, an exam to which I had been so closely attached that till today, I feel the void in me of not clearing it. But anyways, that’s how the life is meant to be: Sometimes success and sometimes failure.
How it feels like to clear UPSC Civil services exam:
I think I am not the right person to comment on this, but after I realized one thing( which I would be sharing later in this article) made me confident of commenting on this. So, coming on this prestigious exam, it should feel like heaven after cleaning the exam. But, why should you feel like heaven after clearing this particular exam? The answer to this may be seen in what society and environment you have grown up. For many, UPSC is just like any other exam, but for many this exam gives a hope to:
1. Change their destiny.
2. Be in the power centre.
3. Be a person with a high social prestige.
4. To do anything you wish for.
5. To change the lives of many people for their good.
6. Infinite job security.
To say, a good and handsome income.
So, when there are so many achievements which an exam can provide, certainly the exam holds dear to many of us Indians.
How it feels when you not get selected in UPSC Civil service exam:
>It feels like an end of the world. Nothing can be more depressing than not finding your roll number in the pre, mains list OR name in the final selection list. It can be devastating for some who are somewhat emotionally weaker, for those who have given their many years for preparing for this exam, for those having weak or poor family background, and for those who are attached to this exam more than they are attached to anyone in their life.
>I shall tell you a story of one of my friend. His childhood dream was clearing IIT JEE exam and becoming a good engineer. He was and is excellent in Mathematics. He strived very hard and studied as much as he could to clear board as well as IIT JEE exam. He got very good marks in Board exam, but unfortunately couldn’t clear IIT JEE exam. So, he did his engineering from a state level “government” engineering college. Just like his childhood dream of IIT JEE, UPSC became his after college dream. He started preparing for UPSC since college days. After completing his college, he got a job in a public sector company, and that too after clearing is written exam and interview. But since his dream was UPSC, this job didn’t provide satisfaction to him. He risked his job for UPSC preparation, did online coaching and also went to Delhi( The HUB of UPSC/IAS coaching centre in India). His promotion was dropped and also received notice from his current serving company. But nothing distracted him from his preparation. He cleared prelims thrice, but couldn’t clear mains.
He devoted his 5 to 6 years for UPSC, but all in vain. In the meantime, he was sustaining his family through the income of his current PSU job. It was his last attempt, when I was talking to him. I asked how is the preparation going on? He replied that I am unsure of my preparation but I shall give this attempt, so that no attempts remain which could haunt me afterwards. I was stunned. I asked him, why are you giving the exam, even when you don’t have the confidence about your preparation. He replied that “I will not be able to sleep and eat, if I do not give my last attempt, and I am so much connected with this exam that even I see dreams related to it few times a week”. I was again shocked.
But, after disconnecting the call, when I thought about my days back when I was preparing, I realised that I was going through the same phase, though with a lighter effect. I had talked about this to many of my friends who have devoted their time for preparing for UPSC exam, but unfortunately didn’t clear it. And while talking to them, I felt like each and everyone has the same feeling about the exam, I.e. they are so deeply connected with this exam that it becomes extremely difficult to leave the preparation in between.
So, coming back to the topic, my friend’s 2nd dream also remained unfulfilled. But he is currently serving in a PSU and is having a good family life. And I think, over the next few years he would become as detached to UPSC, as he is attached to UPSC now.
There are many more stories of failures but there is no need to discuss more.
So, what to do when you are unable to clear this prestigious exam. I shall discuss it point wise.
>Many people say that move on: I think these are people who never had the feeling of being deeply attached to any exam. According to me, they don’t have the right to advise an UPSC aspirant. But sadly they are right. You should move on, as UPSC is just an exam which provides you with a highly rated job. Now the question arises, Where and how to move on? After devoting so much time and without any backup job, what an aspirant can do to overcome his depression and also his joblessness. For this, many people start teaching in the same coaching where once they have studied after paying so much. Many people go back their home and start preparing for smaller and easier exams like SSC, State PSC etc. But who the hell said that these exams are easy? They are as tough as UPSC exams. Ask an SSC aspirant or a state PSC aspirant, you will get the answer. But after accepting failure in UPSC many people start preparing for state PSC but with a sad mind with sad memories about UPSC. This seems emotional a bit, but overcoming this emotional dilemma is very important, as this dilemma shall never allow you to achieve what you may next. So, give every exam respect it deserve, and as an aspirant you are not the right person to decide the respect which should be given to an exam.
>Some people keep a backup against UPSC exam. I think these are the most pragmatic creatures. As, when UPSC cheats them(:P), they go back to their backup. This looks odd, but this proves to be one of the best method to avoid the agony, pain and depression of the dejection in UPSC exam. As my friend was serving in a PSU, and is now a happy man, shows how fast people with a backup forget the pain of UPSC as compared to a person who don’t have a backup.
>The lessons learnt in those years of hard work are sure to help you build a successful career that can make you just as happy. In this digital world, it’s easy to skill yourself in a field you are truly passionate about. Many companies are also far more open to hiring people from diverse backgrounds. So don’t be afraid to try a new career if you believe you have a knack for it.
One thing to keep in mind, that you have a family back who is waiting for you to have a job so that so you could be the next breadwinner for them. If you have this back in your mind, I think you should certainly be able to crack this exam. But if you give this exam more priority than your family, then there is a doubt.
>One must introspect and find your own answers. Your family also has a significant role to play here in offering solace. If you have given your 100% there is no reason for dejection. At the end of the day, some things are not under your control. I know so many people who didn’t clear this exam, but are doing very well in life wherever they are. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t clear it.
>As a piece of advice to aspirants, one should never be afraid to quit to achieve what they love and believe in. Quitting the rat-race and following what you truly love, is the first stage of achievement because life is too short for doing something you don’t like, he says. So, as long as you love and are able to give 100% to the preparation of UPSC, continue it, but if you have doubt or time is running out very fast, then you should certainly think about it.
Because, at the end of the day, UPSC is not the end of the tunnel, it is just one of the tunnels that will lead you to the end. If not that, you have many more tunnels to take.